Yesterday, we published a post from Singapore blogger, Vet Leow, whereby she shared on how she was badly treated as a guest at a fellow blogger friend, E’s wedding banquet. Read her full story.
Well, E contacted us today and would like to share her side of the story. Here goes:
I read with interest the article written by V and I was the E in question – the one who just held her wedding. A concerned friend sent me the published article and asked if I would like to stop the lunacy – yes I would.
Frankly speaking if I were V, I wouldn’t humiliate myself time and again in this manner. I as the host have decided to forgive the trouble she caused but since she wishes to announce to the public her joke, allow me to assist her to enhance the true version of what entailed.
So V accepted my invite and turned up at my wedding. Her name was on the guest list alongside a few other blogger friends- and there was a non-eating child with baby chair seated there, making it a total of 10 adults plus 1 child. Note that we have individual servers at each table to portion food so all adults would get equal portion eventually.
When V got there, she claimed that the table was full. I questioned her time and again whether “full” meant the hotel only put 9 adult chairs plus one baby chair OR “full” meant someone else has sat at Table 8 when they were not supposed to – V refused to answer me. She just insisted that the table looked full.
She then went out of the banquet hall and my husband and I saw her on the phone outside the other exit door. We were waiting to march in – but we had montages lined up, so it was at least 8 minutes while we were standing outside and watching V on the phone. She did not approach me at all.
It was only when I was in the dressing room preparing for next march-in then I managed to check my phone and realised V has left. Immediately I called her a few times despite the hectic-ness of the evening but she rejected my calls.
Then she started attacking me with barrages of untrue accusations, saying that i did “poor planning” , “embarrassed her”, “should have apologised and offered to give her a treat” etc.
This was extremely baffling for me because as the bride and also the host who invited her – i wasnt given the chance to find out what happened at the table at all. If someone else has indeed sat at the table and taken up V’s seat, I would have asked him/her to return to their assigned seat. I sent V the guest list to explain but her attacks continued. She kept using the excuse that because she wasn’t very close to me, she didn’t want to approach me to inform me of this.
I did not know to be baffled or to laugh. I clarified with other blogger guests at her table and the next table – a few of them claimed to have persuaded V to stay but she still chose to leave – and they agreed that a non-eating child does NOT form part of the total no. of pax at table and that V who has been a bride herself not too recently, should have known better. Furthermore, they also concur that she should know better than to create trouble for the bride at a moment as such.
Walking away was her choice, just like how she did not bother to inform the host of what happened . Honestly, if someone else has sat in her seat wrongfully, how is it a predictable event and how is it “poor planning” of the host? By not solving it in a more mature and rational manner, and instead expecting royal treatment such as treats, apologies etc, really does not reflect well on her sadly.
Since she did not have the opportunity to partake of the meal at all, i offered to return her angpow but she rejected. She has also childishly blocked me on fFacebook and unfollowed me on IG – so I guess the only means I can inform her that I wil be donating her angpow to Heart Foundation would be through this platform here which she has chosen to humiliate herself on.
Hope the charity done on her behalf will reap her some peace and blessings and help her reflect better for future. I sincerely appreciate her turning up and feel sad that she chose to believe she wasn’t part of the table when her name was printed in black and white.
Enclosed are screenshots showing snippets of chat. Other bloggers are aware of what happened and agree I have not been treated fairly in this regard. I will be meeting up with them for wine and high tea again soon just as how friends should, and I should have listened when I was advised to choose my guests carefully.
Thanks!
There you have it, both sides of the same story.
So who is right and who is wrong? What would you have done if you were Vet Leow or E?
For me, I feel the fault lies with the couple who put their child into Vet Leow’s allocated seat and did not move when the saga happened. As a parent myself, I would have taken the initiative to put my son on my lap or request for a baby chair if I realise he had taken up someone’s seat. It would be interesting to hear the couple share their side of the story.
The host should be a bigger person but I don’t see it.
Vet Leow has poor communication skills… and possibly PRIDE as well. Nothing wrong with asking around about her seat. All this hoo-ha for nothing!
Your story is confusing. Was the baby on the baby seat or on the chair meant for Vet?
I agree with Vet that it can be pretty embarrassing to be left with no seat if there was really no seat for her at Table 8, I know I’d have been, especially if I don’t have close friends to turn to at the banquet, I would have left also.
quoting from the news articles from https://sg.news.yahoo.com/friends-no-more-two-bloggers-055511039.html, vet wrote “The table was reserved for 10 adults + 1 child and the child was already sitting in the baby chair.”
The host indeed has poor management skills.
When Vet Leow approached her, instead of questioning whether theres 8 or 9 person at the table, the host couleeasily assign someone to deal with the matter inmediately.
I would leave if I was Vet Leow too.
I feel that both party has some fault. From the tone of the message exchanges, both have taken a morally superior stand. A clash of egos.
Some things should not be made public and as it is, both party stands to lose out – whether one is posting the story or posting in reply to accusations.
bride had no “sister” or ” brother” from groom’ s side that the bride could have asked to assist her guest? venue had no staff to assist? usually for weddings couple and venue have a ‘ coordinator’ each with a guest list and or seating plan to check against and i’ m sure if approached to do so by any guest at the time could have settled the seat; wonder why guest was invited if she was not ‘ close’ ; also as guest and host both should be bigger about this.
As a host, it is our responsibility to make sure our guests are adequately taken care off, and feel welcomed. Whether you do it personally or you assigned someone like your best friends or relatives or hotel banquet staff, to do it. I hosted my wedding at MBS too, and I gave clear instruction to the hotel staffs and coordinators and they did a very good job. My guests and I were very satisfied.
well, I guess you were mad cz she accused you being a bad host while you aren’t . but still, she came, no seat. duh, could she has asked the guest who has taken her seat? I dont think so. no chair. pft. dont you feel sad for her? she came just for you. lol. even if it is not your fault. dont you feel sorry that she didn’t even eat, but came, and then gave you ang pao also. she did nothing wrong to you. I sense someone else might have tell you the stories in a bad way that you pissed that much. dang. i hate seing people fight. hope you get it, or if u dont. karma babe. when your seats were taken. write some more. lol
A host should ensure that all their guests are well taken of, period. Guests (and they are not called guests for no reason) should not be the ones begging for a seat or going out of their way to pull over a chair, especially when almost everyone else is seated and ready to eat. How would you feel if you were to put yourself in the guest’s shoes? Get off your moral high horse and apologise. Stop being a kid, E.
Aiyo simply put, it’s the host’s job.
You are the host, you are to ensure all guests are happy, it’s not like V made some ridiculous request of any sorts.
Who are these 2 people again?
They are bloggers. But not famous ones.
Regarding Vet leaving the banquet, I think I would have done the same thing. Being stranded at a place where I hardly know anyone without a seat, it’s pretty awkward. She did not make a big fuss and embarrass the hosts for their mistake of not ensuring every guest have a seat, she simply left quietly and gracefully. How can the host expect her to go around asking for her seat? That’s as if she has to go around begging for a seat, which she rightfully should have.
As for the exchanges after the wedding, if I were Vet, I wouldn’t even ask the person to apologise, since we’re not even close. Other than that, I find nothing wrong with Vet said but nothing right in what E said.
1. E shouldn’t invite V if they are not close to each other (perhaps E regard V as her friend but the feeling is not mutual).
2. If V thinks that E is not close to her, she could’ve declined the invitation politely since she is attending the banquet alone and they have no common friends. But she chose to go ahead.
3. Table 8 was assigned to V but it was occupied – its not anybody’s fault. The couple might’ve thought that the seat was vacant which was why they placed the baby there.
V could’ve checked with the recep / banquet manager (since she doesn’t want to bother the bride).
But no, she wanted to exit ‘gracefully’.
If she exited gracefully, she shouldn’t even confront the bride with her messages.
4. Its understandable that people tend to react violently when they are stressed up. The wedding process is tedious and hence V should show some consideration for the bride. However, this does not excuse E for being rude either.
In addition to the above, I noticed that V started to have a conversation with her follower (through comments exchange) under one of a sponsored IG post for Elve Aesthetic Clinic Medi-Facial Review on this saga and even commented that she would rather eat popcorns than attend the wedding. This makes me doubt on V’s professionalism as a blogger / influencer for expressing her personal opinions publicly under a sponsored post which is totally unrelated to this saga. What would the sponsor – Elve Aesthetic Clinic think of it? They should just keep the conversation private imo.
agree. nothing better to do and rant on an empty stomach.