In the world of modern dating, going in search of a hookup is neither unusual nor frowned upon. Both men and women enjoy sex and it’s becoming increasingly normal for us all to seek it out.
If this is where you’re at and you want to meet women looking for the same thing, you’re in luck. That’s exactly what we’ll be covering in this article–not only where you can find them but how to go about it.
Make no mistake, this can lead to tricky hookup situations if mishandled and yes, I’m speaking from experience. Done correctly though, hookups don’t have to be stressful or complicated. Read on and learn from my mistakes!
Where to Find Women Who Just Want a Hookup
Let’s start by talking about where to find women for a hookup. After all, if you don’t know where to look, knowing how to deal with one is kind of pointless, right?
Dating apps and websites
It’s 2020 and we live in a world where “TikTok influencer” is somehow a thing. So, obviously online dating makes it to number one on the list. You can find potential hookups without ever having to leave the couch. What a world we live in!
With so many great hookup apps and websites out there, you’ll find one that works for you no matter what you’re into. While online dating is different from traditional dating, it does have many pros. One of which is the sheer number of people who use a variety of hookup sites and apps!
You just need to be smart about it. Look for expert advice that goes in depth, like Beyond Age’s review of Fling.com before making your choice. You can waste a lot of time on the wrong site and seeing where other people are having success can really help you out.
Pubs and clubs
A classic for hookups over the years, both pubs and clubs are still ideal for finding hookups as well. They make for a fun, social environment where it’s perfectly normal to speak to strangers.
Throw alcohol and a dance floor into the mix and it gets even easier again. If you’re the type who’s comfortable with (or at least capable of) introducing yourself to someone new, never discount this option.
Live music events don’t get nearly as much appreciation as they should when it comes to hookup opportunities.
Since you’re there to see a small selection of artists, you’ll have a shared interest with most people at the event. This gives you so many opportunities to start a conversation without it feeling awkward.
Again, add alcohol to the mix and the fact everyone is there to have a good time, you’re in with a great chance.
Keeping with the theme of shared interests, local events also give you opportunities to chat with those around you.
There’s so much to see and do at any kind of event, you won’t find yourself struggling for conversation topics. If you get to chatting with someone early on, you can even go explore the event together.
Generally these events are high-energy and people are having fun. This means a light and positive environment where nobody is opposed to meeting new people.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Handling a Hookup
Now that we’ve covered where to meet these women, let’s talk about how to handle it correctly. These basic tips can be the difference between a fun night or far too many complications.
I’ve become very comfortable with hookup culture and handling things over the years. Here’s a quick overview of how I go about it.
Be open about your intentions
Remember, we’re talking about adults here. Thanks to outdated social norms, it’s normal to think that saying you’re looking for a hookup will end badly. The good news is, those social norms are a thing of the past — that means learning to communicate these intentions has never been more important.
In my experience, it simplifies an otherwise complicated minefield of a topic. Believe it or not, women enjoy sex too (who knew?!) and sometimes they just want casual sex. So long as they don’t feel misled, you’d be surprised how many are open to a casual encounter.
Don’t be a sleeze
I hate that I need to point this one out yet I assure you, it’s common enough to make the list. Creepy behavior on a date is never a good move.
- No unsolicited dick pics
- No pickup lines
- No “hey there sexy”
Just be normal, that’s it. See, the beauty of there being so many sleazy people out there is the bar has been set very low. If you can just be a normal person you’re already halfway there!
Seriously though, despite what the “pickup artist community” tells you, this isn’t a game. Women aren’t pawns. Just go say hi, make some interesting conversation and see if the two of you work. By all means, being sexual is okay — encouraged even, since we’re looking for hookups here — but not as your opening line.
It’s okay to be sexual
This is an important point that needs to be emphasized. From a young age we’re taught the topic of sex is taboo. Like we need to conceal the fact that we’re into someone in that way.
As we’ve already covered, it’s okay to be open about what you want. This is something I still struggle with to an extent because it was so deeply ingrained in me. If you’re into someone, don’t go apologizing for sexual comments or telling them you didn’t mean it that way. That’s the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve here!
Don’t take too long to escalate
This is entirely situational but it’s about finding a fair balance in each situation. You don’t want to roll in with a “hey babe, you look hot. Want to come home with me?” At the same time, if you take the entire night to even get a phone number, you’re not exactly giving off hookup vibes.
Find a comfortable balance that works for the two of you each time. Once you’ve established that neither of you are total weirdos, it’s okay to be sexual and hands-on.
Nobody owes you anything
Another common issue I come across often is a bit of an attitude problem when it comes to hookups. In fact, one of my closest friends has this problem so I know it well.
Just because you’re into someone doesn’t mean she’s into you. Likewise, just because your friend hooked up with people tonight doesn’t mean you “deserve” anything.
Sometimes things just won’t work out the way you wanted them to and that’s life. If you come across frustrated or try shutting them out for making the “wrong choice,” it’ll look bad on you.
So much so that I’ve had women gravitate toward me when my friend starts getting frustrated. He blows it for himself because he felt entitled and they become interested in me instead (which just makes the problem worse). You can learn from his mistakes!