When taking on a new role as a mother, one of the thoughts that may constantly burden you is: “how to be a good mother.”
There is no guidebook on how to be a good mother. Every day is trial and error in carrying out the role of the mother with each parenting style. Not to mention if the mother also has other roles, for example – a working mother. It can be added more to your plate and make you prone to feel stress. Thus, it definitely is not wrong to say that being a mother is one of the hardest things ever. Even though it is hard to do, here are some ways you can take note of it, and use it as a key to learning to try and be a good mother.
1. Learn from experience
You are not the first person to become a mother. Around you, there are lots of people who have been or are undergoing the same role as you. Learn from their experiences, and observe how parenting influences their children’s behavior.
Take what can be imitated, and leave what cannot. This can be a very valuable lesson, especially for new mothers. When you feel confused and have to ask questions, don’t be shy or reluctant to consult someone with more experience. Alternatively, you can also read various parenting books or take part in various webinars on how to raise children.
2. Not afraid to apologize
Being a parent or a mother does not mean that you are never in the wrong. Even when dealing with children, don’t hesitate to apologize when you’re at fault. This will be a reflection of your children in the future, thus they won’t hesitate to do the same if they do something wrong. You will be able to teach your children that apologizing does not mean you are weak. It shows you have strong and stable emotions and are able to admit mistakes in a chivalrous manner.
3. Find a place to share your burden away
Being a mother is a job that knows no hours of rest. There is no pause because every time there will always be tasks related to the role of a mother. Feeling tired or even overwhelmed? Don’t be guilty because it is a very natural response. To ensure you can manage that feeling well, you can find someone that you trust the most and share away your burden by sharing what’s on your mind, your worries, and everything that you’re feeling.
Whether it’s a spouse, parents, siblings, friends, or fellow mothers who can listen to you. Sharing about your problem doesn’t mean that you always complain or don’t like being a mother, but having a place to express your feelings is something that can do wonders for your mental health. It is great knowledge to know that you will always have a certain someone to lean on.
4. Work together with your partners
Make an agreement with your partner, that they too have to be directly involved in raising children. Remember, taking care of children does not mean that it is only the mother’s job – regardless of the perceptions of a society that are still strong in that direction. Your partner must have the same vision and mission and be willing to go the extra mile to raise the children.
Moreover, having two parents that are really on hand in taking care of themselves, will do wonders for your child’s mental stability and growth character. Thus make sure that this type of conversation is done, long before you decide to have a child together.
5. Be a good listener
One ultimate way to be a good mother is to be a good listener to your child. When a child grows up, they will need to have someone they can trust – so they can be open in sharing whatever their thoughts, feelings, and the things they are currently facing. Therefore, from early on – you should try to always communicate with your children and be a good listener so that they can be comfortable when sharing stories with you.
6. Show your affectionate side
The most important thing for children is love and affection. It is important to make sure that your child feels loved at all times. This can be realized by always being there when they need you, being interested in whatever your child likes, and providing support in every situation. Show that you will always be there as a shoulder to lean on, ears to listen to, and someone to hug.
That way, your child will not feel alone or lack attention. This can help to make the child feel important and make it easier for them to grow confidence, self-esteem, and love within.
7. Don’t forget to love yourself
Don’t forget to set aside time for “me time” or give yourself a self-reward. It’s no exaggeration to say that a happy mother will have happy children too. To be happy, you should not forget to love yourself and show it well. Your sole attention should not only circulate around your children and family – remember that your own self is as important.
Showing love to yourself can be in whatever form it takes, whether it’s bathing without any distractions, doing a hobby in between babysitting, or hiring a professional cleaner such as Luce Home Cleaning – when you realize that you are too tired and busy to clean your home. These are just a couple of examples of showing love to yourself.
Forgiving and acknowledging yourself as a mother figure who is still learning can also be the ultimate way to love yourself.
