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Chuck Norris - the last action hero - Alvinology

Chuck Norris – the last action hero

byalvinology
August 7, 2007
1 minute read

Check out this hilarious satire site that got me laughing till I almost roll over my chair. It’s a site showcasing all sorts of random and nonsensical facts about B-grade action movie star, Chuck Norris.

Norris’s own official website can be found HERE. Not too sure if he knows about this other silly website that was created to make fun of him though.

Chuck Norris Facts

Here a sample of some silly “facts” about Norris that you can find on the site:

1. Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
5. There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
6. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
7. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
8. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
9. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
10.Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting…. CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

For those of you who are familiar with the kind of shitty movies that Norris frequently starred in, you will get why I find this website so funny. Someone should do more websites like this for other trashy B-grade kungfu ang moh stars like Steven Seagal, Kurt Russell and friends.

Technorati Tags: chuck norris, steven seagal, kurt russell, b-grade movie actors, chuck norris facts, ang moh kungfu, chuck norris kungfu, alvinology

Author
alvinology
Alvin is a marketer by day and blogger by night. He is a 100% geek who spends too much time surfing the web.

2 comments

  1. I think the main reason why Norris is given this special attention is that he is the only person fast enough to hit bruce lee (usually bruce lee dodges in time, making this a rare feat) with a high kick to the head and he is a reputable martial artist(kinda like sammo hung of america in the 1970s.)

    add the fact that he is pretty much the ONLY big american name in martial arts… you get crazy american teens who say funny things(like in the list you showed.), i suppose it’s their way of showing how proud they are of him.

    and the main reasons why steven seagal, kurt russel and friends are not given this attention norris gets is because they either don’t practice flashy martial arts(seagal practices aikido and he’s really good at it.) which dazzle the audience or they are just for show and can’t really do crap in a real fight.

    oh. there also this thing about him being the Texas Ranger. now thats an awesome TV series 😛

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