Relationships are the result of hard work between two people who care for each other immensely. A relationship is not when someone takes advantage of, demeans, or otherwise hurts their significant other.
These sorts of toxic relationships can be damaging to be a part of, but they can also be difficult to recognize or accept.
Removing yourself from unhealthy situations and people is an important part of protecting your mental health, which impacts almost every part of your life. Relationships should be a source of support and joy, not stress and fear.
Of course, it’s easy to want to end things, but much more challenging to actually do so. Oftentimes, changing your mindset about what matters most and what you deserve can go a long way.
How to Let Go
Some techniques can help you safely and realistically distance yourself and, when the time’s right, end things for good.
1. Accept that the relationship is toxic.
The first, and sometimes hardest, step is to acknowledge that the relationship is unhealthy for you. Identify what aspects of your relationship tend to be the most problematic.
Examples of toxic behavior or relationships might include:
- Your partner taking away your phone to see who you have been talking to
- Manipulation, lying, cheating, or other similar acts
- Hostile communication, such as using derogatory language toward you
- Feeling drained after spending time with your partner
2. Prioritize your happiness.
Being in a bad relationship often leads to sacrificing things that bring you joy (either because your partner disapproved or you simply lost the desire to do them).
This is the perfect time to rediscover your interests and what makes you who you are. Once you’ve acknowledged your relationship is the cause of a lot of your pain, you’ll likely have an easier time focusing solely on yourself.
3. Confide in close friends
At any point in this process, you may want to confide in close friends or family about your situation. Although you know yourself best, people who care for you can also remind you of what you are capable of and that you deserve better.
A strong support system makes it much easier to become independent once again. Knowing others have your back means you’re far less likely to return to your partner or seek out unhealthy coping mechanisms.
4. Find a way to healthily end the relationship.
Breaking up is certainly the hardest part of letting go and moving on from a relationship; it can be scary, uncomfortable, and upsetting, but it’s a necessary evil.
You might want to prepare what you’d like to say ahead of time or take some time to write out all of your thoughts so your partner understands where you’re coming from. Of course, severely abusive or toxic partners might still react negatively to even the most sound reasoning; in this case, reflection can still help you personally understand how you feel.
Final Thoughts
Throughout this whole process, try to tell yourself the same things you might tell a loved one if they were in your shoes, and remember that it’s not your fault you’re in this situation.
Above all else, be kind to yourself. You deserve all of the compassion and understanding your partner may have been withholding from you. It may take practice, but you are absolutely capable of self-improvement and self-love.
Post contributed by Marie Miguel
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.
