According to Facebook user Cinorom Elicebmi Junior (a play on words that may mean Moronic Imbecile), he will never get involved with a female divorcee. In a post that went up around March last year, he said,
… WHY I WILL NEVER DATE A DIVORCEE…
Foremost, I hasten to clarify I do not harbour any prejudice whatsoever against divorcees. It’s just a personal preference.
She’s gorgeously charming. Her character is impeccably good. Her positive vibes are a feather to her hat. Her soft and culinary skill set cannot be faulted. Be that as it may, she is a divorcee…
Because her ex-husband despicably cheated on her, her sense of security may be contravened. Her trust had been bamboozled. I’ll have to work exceedingly hard to reassure her time and again of my faithfulness and loyalty. My whereabouts. My lateness in returning home. I’d to shoulder a baggage that doesn’t have my name tag?
Because her ex-husband had inattentively neglected her while he was indefatigably pursuing his career and they’d drifted apart, I’ve to mend that torn fence by spending more time with her. Furthermore, she may need to boost her ego and this is where I come in as a pawn. I’m the unwilling tool that shows she’d moved on and she doesn’t just take me as I am. She may dominate me, she will ensure she’s the boss?
Because the children she bear with her ex-husband will almost certainly classify me as a persona non grata regardless how much effort I put forth in winning them over?
Because she has to juggle between her emotion-induced injuries and our newly budding love, the struggles may render her unstable from time to time. I’ll have to compensate by providing relentless comfort and ample solace?
Because she had had children, she’d walked the walk talked the talk. She was Friends of the Zoo for decades. She had cleaned wet noses, wiped soiled buttocks and purchased discounted diapers by dozens; she is looking for a soul mate whilst I’m looking forward to starting a family. This expectation discrepancy cannot possibly be bridged without a hitch?
Because she may never get over her failed relationship no matter what; gradually it becomes a pattern. “My ex-husband did this, my ex-husband hates/loves that.” If her ex-husband has found happiness with someone else, it doesn’t go down well with her. Even if she is happy with me, she will still want to find ways to infiltrate her ex-husband’s life as it hurts her badly that another woman is successful with him and not her?
Against this backdrop (and being an older man), I reckon it may be too much effort too little return. Henceforward I’d made up my mind notwithstanding you’re the best possible candidate that ace all quarters, I will not date you. I’m truly sorry…
Epilogue, over 75% of divorces here in Singapore are initiated by the woman.
According to the Singapore Department of Statistics, out of 7,207 divorces in 2016, 5,505 were initiated under the Women’s Charter, which is around 76% of all divorces.
Take a look at his post here.
What are his reasons?
His long Facebook post breaks down the following reasons why he will not date a Singaporean divorcee:
- She lacks a sense of security because her ex-husband left her. He does not want to assure her of his loyalty or entertain her checking up on him.
- Her children from her earlier marriage will never accept him for no matter what he does.
- He does not want to handle her injured emotions and strive to nurture their new love.
- She wants a soul mate while he wants to start a new family.
- She will never get over how her ex-husband did things and will constantly bring it up.
- It requires too much effort to handle her as he is an old man.
He said as a sort of disclaimer at the start of his post that he is not discriminating against Singaporean female divorcees, and that this is simply personal preference.
What about the comments?
You can be sure that the Singaporean public had a lot to say about such a detailed rebuke of female divorcees. Take a look:
Some tried to shed light on the value of such a post.
Some wanted to remind people about religion.
The original poster had to continue to defend his position.
Some agreed.
He also went further to state something about the mental condition of women.
Other people mentioned anger and desperation in men.
As usual, reminding people about free speech as a way to justify a post is a great way to prove a point.
And there were women who were honest about the post.
Do you agree with his opinion on marriage and dating divorcees? Let us know in the comments!
Read about this man who regretted divorcing and cheating on his faithful wife of 15 years.
Photo from Shutterstock by SIIka Photo, Asian man say no on phone.
5
He just sounds like a really bitter person, to me.
A person may or may not be the sum of their experiences…
Not every divorced woman is a wounded bird waiting to be treated. I think the OP is being rather shallow and narrow in expressing his views on divorced women.
That happens when you pigeonhole people – generalise all you want, but everybody experiences divorce/life differently. And every person will have something different to bring to the table in a relationship – maybe a divorced woman might be wiser for knowing what works and what doesnt work for her, after her failed marriage.