Categories: dirty old man

How would Zhang Ziyi fare in a battle of the celebrity beach nudies?

Paparazzi photos of Hollywood stars, caught nude at the beach is so common in the Hollywood world that it seldom even cause much of a stir online, much less in the traditional print and broadcast media.

However things are different for Chinese actress, Zhang Ziyi (章子怡) as she not is not only a well-known Hollywood star; but also a big name in the outwardly conservative Chinese entertainment scene.

Nonetheless, if we were to place Zhang Ziyi’s beach nude photos against other Hollywood female stars who got photographed nude at the beach, how would she fare against them in terms of hotness? Let’s find out. 🙂

Natalie Portman

Figure: 7
Candid Posture: 6

Verdict: Queen Amidala badly needs a tan; leave her alone lah!

Victoria Beckham

Figure: 5
Candid Posture: 4

Verdict: Her boobs look saggy and artificial. Usually “posh” in her poses, she truly looks like she was caught totally off-guard here with even her hubby giving her a pitiful look.

Kristen Dunst

Figure: 5
Candid Posture: 3

Verdict: What a strange posture! Is Mary Jane reaching out for Spidey to save her from the evil paparazzi? Also, her bikini design really sucks – letting her boobs fall out UNDERNEATH.

Kylie Minogue

Figure: 6
Candid Posture: 6

Verdict: She was just getting up. The posture and figure looks so mundane that it makes the Australian sex kitten looks tame.

Jennifer Aniston

Figure: 7
Candid Posture: 7

Verdict: I think she spotted the paparazzi! Extra points for being so alert!

Rebecca Loos

Figure: 8
Candid Posture: 7
Verdict: Her jugs are really quite formidable… no wonder even David Beckham succumbed.

Zhang Ziyi

Figure: 6
Candid Posture: 10

Verdict: Her yoga stretching poses and those photos of her beau sniffing her butt – priceless!

Cameron Diaz

Figure: 7
Candid Posture: 6

Verdict: She looks like she is enjoying being in the nude doesn’t she?

Paris Hilton

Figure: 8
Candid Posture: 10

Verdict: Everyone’s favourite dumb blonde, caught with one breast exposed in a weird position; made even weirder by those ridiculous shades.

Amy Winehouse

Figure: -10
Candid Posture: -10

Verdict: Arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! My eyessssss!!!!!!!!!!

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Alvin is a marketer by day and blogger by night. He is a 100% geek who spends too much time surfing the web.

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