The post is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.
You may have been told by someone that optimism is unrealistic before, especially if you value using optimism as a coping mechanism in your own life, you may wonder if it’s true. Is optimism unrealistic?
The Purpose of Optimism
Optimism exists as a way to increase happiness and hope in your life. It combats more difficult or pessimistic thinking patterns and allows us to feel gratitude for the things we have in life. Optimism isn’t all about happiness, though.
Although you can increase happiness through buying a new car, making new friends, or accepting a new job, optimism is less about behavior and more about what you think, say, and feel.
Here are some examples of being optimistic:
- Believing you will gain a new job that you want
- Increasing happiness through self-affirmations daily
- Expecting the best in others
- Believing that things will get better when they are hard
- Thinking about positive things that make you happy
- Believing that the world can change for the better
Positive thought processes are generally considered optimistic, and they exist to improve your mood and the mood of those around you.
Is Optimism Unrealistic?
So, is optimism unrealistic? Is it bad to believe that everything is going to be okay? In many cases, people will use “realism” as a cover for pessimism. Pessimism is when you believe that things will not be okay or that everything is bad until proven otherwise.
Although there are ways to factually prove that something is not okay, there are also ways to factually prove that things can be okay. Optimism is not always just wishful thinking. In many cases, it can actually make good things happen. This phenomenon is known as manifestation or visualization, and it has been scientifically proven to work. When you believe that something good is going to happen, it is more likely to happen.
Since science backs up optimism by showing us that nothing horrible can come of it, it’s likely not as unrealistic as many people may think. Even if what you believe does not come true, learning to be able to deal with disappointment and hurt can strengthen your emotional intelligence in the long run, which is another positive.
Many times, people who believe in “realism” or do not expect good out of situations end up not having the same quality of life as those who go through life with a lens of excitement, happiness, contentment, and acceptance.
Ways Optimism Can Make Your Life Better
Here are some ways that optimism can impact your life positively.
You’ll See the Bright Side of Hard Situations
When you’re optimistic, you’ll be able to see the bright side of any hard situation. This ability can make it easier for you to get through hard times, understand why something has happened, or find coping mechanisms when things are hard.
You’ll Be More Likely to Forgive Others
You will likely be more willing to forgive others when you see life from an optimistic viewpoint. When someone hurts you, you may be more able to see how they improve your life, other than the negative aspects of your relationship with them. However, this can also be a negative.
You’ll Be More Flexible
Flexibility is an important skill in many environments, including the workforce, school, and relationships. Optimistic people may be more likely to open up to others and make changes when changes are needed. They may be able to see the Brightside of a difficult change, whereas pessimistic people may feel more rigid towards a certain choice.
You May Feel Less Sadness and Disappointment
Optimism can increase happiness because positivity increases happiness. Thinking positively allows you to tap into happiness more often than feeling negative. If you feel negatively towards a situation all of the time, you’re also inviting in sadness, anxiety, and anger more often.
Are There Ways Optimism Can Harm You?
So, are there ways that optimism cannot serve you? Yes, there are ways that optimism can negatively impact you. Here are a couple of the ways.
You May Ignore Red Flags in Others
Some people who think optimistically may struggle to catch red flags in situations. Instead of noticing signs that someone may react abusively or unhealthily in the future, they may write them off as mistakes or small flaws in character, instead of a very important sign that something is wrong.
Sometimes, it’s important to look deeper into what someone’s behavior may mean. For example, many narcissistic people will move very quickly in relationships and tend to show controlling behaviors in small ways early on.
You May Struggle With Avoidance
Optimistic people may also use optimism as a way to avoid the reality of a situation, which can be harmful, especially if their ability to communicate is required for the relationship to function.
For example, an optimistic person may have hurt someone else emotionally and refuse to take responsibility or accept the loss of the person in their life because they don’t want to focus on the negative feelings or patterns.
Conclusion
There are some negative symptoms of being overly optimistic. However, overall, experts agree that optimism is a great way to meet your goals, increase happiness in your life, and reduce the chance of a severe upset. If you want to find ways to increase optimism in your own life, consider meeting with a therapist that works with emotions.
If you want to learn more about optimism, you can also read the excellent advice column on BetterHelp today!
