Checking your child’s social media, email, phone, computer, and tablet is emotional child abuse?
In a recent Facebook post that were screenshots from a tumblr thread, some users on the popular blogging platform shared that certain things their parents do are emotionally abusive and have caused them psychological harm in their adult life.
- Disallowing them to lock their bedroom doors.
- Listening in on their phone conversations (you can still do that?)
- Requiring their social media, email and other account login information
- Monitoring their internet search and browsing history
Here are the screenshots from the thread:
Looking at the social media accounts and computers of your children is wrong?
This person says her parents randomly look at her phone camera roll, passwords and computer because they don’t trust her. According to the post the parents do it because they suspect she is, “Doing something I’m not supposed to be doing.”
My house, my money, my rules
In this next photo, a parent answers and says that children only get privacy when they’re on their own and that as long as the children live in the same house, it’s how things are.
Respect the children too!
Some commenters got mad and said that they deserve respect. Shaming children as punishment as well as taking away privacy and the right to lock bedroom doors is disrespectful.
Another parent chimed in and said that checking devices and taking away privacy is the parent’s right as long as the child lives at home. It’s for their own safety especially if the parents think the child is doing drugs or talking to a much older person online.
More commenters detailed how their parents would invade their lives even at twenty years old. Some commenters said that their parents were more lenient and just punished them when they made mistakes and they turned out all right.
A person in therapy said the reason why she has mental problems is because her parents didn’t trust her and mad her childhood extremely difficult.
Denying privacy and other parenting styles that can get you in jail…in the US
The last few comments details how in the United States, denying the child a right to privacy is an offense punishable by law and is emotional child abuse.
Other things that parents do that can be considered emotional abuse are:
Not validating children’s feelings, interrupting them when they speak, not returning affection, not showing affection, not listening to children and other actions that ignore or reject children.
photo from Shutterstock
Shaming and humiliating happens when parents engage in punishments that embarrass children in front of public society. So showing photos of punishments, punishing in public and other similar practices are considered abuse by the commenter.
Terrorizing and scaring children with lies and objects is considered abuse too.
The commenter, who says that they have a support group for children who experienced emotional abuse, kids who are traumatized by such parents exhibit these behaviours and many more:
- learning delays and disabilities
- being extremely compliant and defensive
- cruelty to animals
In the end, the post was overwhelmingly populated by commenters who have extremely bad experiences with their parents.
Should we stop strict parenting?
According to the commenters, a lot of common, strict parenting practices could be construed as emotional abuse. Children (including teenagers) have the privilege to keep their social media accounts, emails and room locked even if their parents are mad.
Commenters said that if the parent doesn’t stop being strict or abusive, then the child should ignore them when the child gets older.
In Singapore and a lot of other Asian countries, most parents have more control over their children and this is the accepted norm. How it affects children during the formative years and later on differs from case to case.
But what do you think? Let us know in the comments!