12 Ridiculously Funny Things You Can Buy On Taobao

To some, Taobao is a treasure trove of hidden gems if you take the time to uncover them. To others, it could be a site to troll people – when in fact, they’re not trolling at all – with items so ludicrous you won’t believe it’s even sold online.

Here are 12 things we thought were downright hilarious and just had to share:

Engagement Rings

The bigger, the better. We’re referring to the carat size of a girl’s best friend when proposing to your fiancée.

She will love you to death literally, because it’s simply every girl’s dream to have a diamond this huge on an engagement ring that she can wear on her wrist. Don’t you agree?

Then again, do your wife-to-be really want this? Think very carefully.

Beauty and the Beast Eternal Rose

 

Remember the eternal rose in “Beauty and The Beast”? You may think it’s all make-believe when we say the “eternal rose” is sold on Taobao but there’s some truth to that.

The preserved Roseamor rose in this transparent dome-shaped has a shelf life of three years. Well, it’s close enough to the real deal.

Portable farts

Farts are literally stink bombs. The next time someone pisses you off, simply tear off a packet of the fart bomb bag and send your nemesis running away.

Fart Sprays

 

Otherwise, if you prefer some covert action to take revenge or prank someone, a spray does just the trick as well. The only concern we have is that it may backfire because Singaporeans love their durians and there’s some element of the durian smell in it.

Edible condoms from Durox

If you pay attention closely to this, you would have realised that the brand is labelled “Durox” instead of the legitimate “Durex” we always see. Just remember not to mistake it for the real deal. You won’t want a “oopsy daisy” moment.

Bathtubs

We get it. Life is so busy these days we can’t even make time to pick out a bathtub at the furniture store.

Jacuzzi

If you don’t mind the exorbitant shipping fees, the LED lights in a jacuzzi does make all the difference when you’re taking a hot bath.

Taobao shows us that it isn’t all about cheap thrills and sketchy products but also state-of-the-art and big-ticket items.

Onsen

Onsen, anyone? The health benefits from taking a hot bath are endless so what’s stopping you from shipping one over?

4D Toilet Bowl?!

Yes, you’re seeing right – but this is no typical toilet bowl.

It touts of a 4D flushing system with 360° coverage and no-blind-spot cleaning. Trust us, it’s also our first time hearing of such thing called 4D flushing.

The flushing system is also so 4D you feel a tornado brewing beneath your butt.

Insurance, for real?

Last time we checked, the seller has already signed on 1, 066 insurance agreements.

You’d think this sounds sketchy but it’s true that Taobao users can now buy insurance from the online giant. Is there anything you can’t buy on this Chinese Ebay equivalent?

Coffins

Well, this sounds a wee macabre but funny how people would purchase coffins online?! I mean, would you?

If it helps to sell the item, the wood used in this coffin is premium mahogany from South Africa. Besides, 39 transactions have taken place so anything is truly possible, especially with Taobao.

 

Tyres

Even tyres. There you have it, Taobao is practically the Walmart of the world – the only difference is everything’s online.

There’s still some time left if you desperately need inspiration for April Fool’s Day. They may just come in handy if you need a good laugh, prank away!