(picture via Toni’s Corner of the World)
I found this set of very useful “Anti-Telemarketer Script” from Junkbusters and have modified it slightly to suit Singapore’s context. I do not think there’s a similar Telephone Consumer Protection Act in Singapore’s Constitution to protect us from such spams. Although we can’t sue the telemarketers, we can still scare them off with a series of questions, build to intimidate.
Next time you meet a persistent, pesky telemarketer using one of their lame scripts on you, you can use this anti-telemarketer script to get them back at their own game.
1. “Are you calling to sell something?” (or is this a telemarketing call?”)
2. “Could you tell me your full name please?” (note: ask the person to spell it out alphabet by alphabet, and make sure they are enunciated clearly – do this for all other steps for optimal intimidation impact)
3. “And a phone number, residential/office adress?”
4. “What’s the name of the organisation you’re calling for?”
5. “Does that organization keep a list of numbers it’s been asked not to call?”
6. “I would like my number(s) put on that list. Can you take care of that now?”
7. “And does the company you work for also make telemarketing calls for any other organisations?” (If they answer no, skip the next question.)
8. (If yes) “Can you make sure your company won’t call me for any other organisation?”
You may need to ask to speak with a supervisor if they sound lost. When you’re ready to let them off, you might close with “Is it clear that I never want telemarketing calls from anyone?” and just say goodbye. If you feel like making them pay, keep going:
1. “Will your company keep my number on its do-not-call list for at least ten years?”
2. “And does your company have a written policy that says that on paper?”
3. “Can you send me a copy of it?”
4. “What’s your supervisor’s first and last name?”
5. “What’s your employer’s business name, address and main telephone number?”
6. “Are you calling for a tax-exempt nonprofit organization?”
7. “Is this call based on a previously established business relationship?”
Actually, better still if you have the guts for it, you can pull a recorded phone gag on them like the fonejacker dude I blogged about previously!
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